The Beer Retard

My procrastination knows no bounds. I spent part of a day in Tacoma in early February and am just now writing about it. Despite the short-term memory loss caused by all the drinking since then, I do remember making two Tacoma beer stops.

The first stop was Harmon Brewing and it was alright–a standard brewpub with the usual food (burgers, fish & chips, hummus plate) and a full lineup of beers. Porters are their specialty. They had a regular porter, a vanilla porter and a double porter, all of which were good. Their IPA, which I’d liked in the past, tasted much different from how I remembered. It had a weird, floral thing going on.

Beer destination number two was The Red Hot. Owner Chris Miller (that’s him manning the bar in the photo) keeps things simple–beer, hot dogs and pinball. His garage punk roots (he used to sing in the Mexican Blackbirds) and Tacoma pride are evident in the memorabilia on the bar’s walls. It’s a small place, borderline dive bar-ish (I mean that in a good way) and has what a lot of beer bars lack: an atmosphere that makes you want to settle in and spend a few hours. The tap list on this day was solidly West Coast and included Port Townsend Hop Diggidy, Stone IPA, Hale’s Kolsch, Boundary Bay Amber and Sierra Nevada Bigfoot. They also had Rainier (Vitamin R is always on tap here) and a bottle list that included Pliny the Elder, one of the Chimays and a few from New Belgium and Deschutes.

Hot dog-wise, The Red Hot caters to vegetarians, with a couple veggie selections (I recommend the Nisqually Not Brat), but the Gauntlet is the main attraction. Ten carnivorous selections make up the Gauntlet and people who eat all ten get their name on a plaque on the wall and a significant price cut on the cost of what they ate.

Miller told me that 90 people have tried to run the Gauntlet and only seven have succeeded, one of which was a woman. A few people have had to go outside and purge mid-Gauntlet. After witnessing some of the attempts, Miller is working on a waiver for challengers to sign exempting The Red Hot from liability for the dangerously high blood pressure that may result from massive sodium intake.

I say the Gauntlet would be the perfect challenge for the Man v. Food guy. I’m sure Tacoma has a few other worthy eating spots they could use on the show. I know I’ll be back to drink more beer at the Red Hot and visit other Tacoma beer spots like the Parkway Tavern and the Swiss.