The Beer Retard

With only a few days until the start of Seattle Beer Week, it’s time for me to come out of blogging hibernation. Last year, the Seattle Beer Collective put together a pretty impressive inaugural SBW with only a few months of lead time. This year, they’ve gone balls-out to orchestrate a ridiculous 10 days of local beer celebration. To honor their work, I’ve decided to tackle this year’s SBW Gonzo-style.

While I don’t have it in me to channel Hunter S. Thompson by taking tons of drugs and reporting via stream-of-consciousness, I am pledging to attack the festival, attending as many events as possible (hopefully more than anyone, besides the four organizers) and documenting my experiences with no punches pulled. If I drink a lousy beer, want to punch an annoying beer douche or engage in dangerous acts of public urination, you’ll read about it in my daily reports.

For the next three days, I’ll be lying low–getting eight hours of sleep, eating well and taking my vitamins. I’ll also make sure to have two or three beers a day to keep my tolerance up. Some say that I should forego beer until the festivities begin on Thursday, but I strongly disagree. Abstinence before a period of bingeing is a fool’s errand.

See everyone at Hale’s on Thursday….