The Beer Retard

Yes, I’m going to see Beer Wars tonight. Am I excited about it? Not really…I’m trying to keep my expectations low so I’ll enjoy it more. After watching the trailer, I’m not sure I’ll learn anything from the film. But, you never know. I’ll do my best to keep an open mind. Look for some kind of review here tomorrow.

In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow to go to work. In that world, I’d probably get on a bus to West Seattle after seeing Beer Wars.

Starting at 9pm, the Skylark is hosting a meet-the-brewer night with Jamie Floyd of Ninkasi Brewing. Up to six Ninkasi beers will be on tap including Total Domination, Tricerahops, Believer, Spring Reign and Oatis. There are also three local bands playing. There’s no cover charge for the music, so you can save all your scratch for beers. Damn…I wish I could go.

I’ve been accused of taking my anti-beer-douche crusade too far. I’ve also been called a hypocrite for bagging on beer snobbery while, at the same time, “putting craft beer on a pedestal.” So let me explain myself. You might be able to relate.

On the one hand, I like to drink good beer. I’ve drunk so much beer that I’ve become pretty picky about it. It pisses me off when a place that’s supposedly “all about beer” has dirty tap lines. I also like to eat quality food with my beer and I’m not against an upscale atmosphere as long as it isn’t too highbrow. I enjoy talking beer with truly passionate people who aren’t just name-dropping and broadcasting whatever status they think they’ve achieved with the contents of their beer cellar. Based on that description, it’d be hard for me to argue that I’m not a bit hoity when it comes to beer and the places where I drink it.

But… on the other hand, there’s also a part of me that loves hanging out in the skeeviest dive bars. I enjoy having cheap beer out of the can and random conversations with burnouts. I appreciate surly bartenders. I like places that have a feeling of unpredictability, and–dare I say–danger, to them. Overall, I feel like I ride the fence between the world of the beer douche and the dirtbag. As I get older, I’m afraid I may get softer and gravitate toward the beer douche side.

Luckily, Mike Seely has written a book called Seattle’s Best Dive Bars that should keep me honest. The great thing about the book is how Seely captures the atmosphere of every bar. He didn’t just pop in for one drink, take a few notes and write a couple witty paragraphs–you get the feeling he’s gotten shitfaced at a lot of these bars.

I’ve only been to 10-12 of the bars out of the dozens that are written up in the book. I plan on visiting them all. Whenever I find myself spending too much time rubbing shoulders with guys talking about their last trip to Cantillon or the amazing barleywines they’ve laid down in their cellars for vertical tastings, it’ll be time to pull out Seattle’s Best Dive Bars and find the closest place for a shot, a can of Rainier and $10 in pull tabs.

After one of my trademark two-week absences, it’s time to get back to it.

A slew of new beer spots are opening in these parts. There’s a new bottleshop called Seattle Beer Authority on Lake City Way (a grand opening celebration is planned for this weekend with sale prices and special tastings). In Redmond on the Eastside, Black Raven Brewing opened its taproom with its Trickster IPA and Batch 1 Brown Porter alongside eight Washington guest taps. Finally, Collins Pub owner Seth Howard opened his new joint, Hudson Public House, in the Maple Leaf neighborhood. I stopped by Hudson on Thursday for dinner and beers.

According to its sign, Hudson is a “New American Public House.” Not exactly sure what that means, but I’m glad the sign doesn’t say “Gastropub.” I hate that word. Makes me think I’m going to have gastrointestinal issues afterwards.

Anyway, Hudson has 16 taps, wine and a full liquor bar. The tap selection is solid–Pliny the Elder, Kwak, Cascade Mouton Rouge, Chuckanut Helles and New Belgium Biere de Mars–and the food is excellent. The menu ranges from burgers, salads and soups, to more adventurous stuff like lavender rabbit. I had the fish special of grilled halibut with sautéed ramps and mascarpone mashed potatoes that was a bargain at $13. Chef Erik Wood also told me he’s making a house-made veggie burger made with beets and kale, which is good news for vegetarians.

I liked the feel of Hudson Public. It’s modern and a little upscale, but still comfortable enough to settle in for several pints instead of throwing down one beer and bolting. If the crowd on Thursday is any indication, the neighborhood is pretty excited about the place. Even though I don’t live nearby, the good beer selection and affordable, quality eats will bring me back.

Sneak peek at the Double IPA label

On Monday, Pike Brewing head brewer Drew Cluley and the four members of the Seattle Beer Collective invited me to watch them brew a Double IPA that Pike will unveil on May 7th as the inaugural beer of Seattle Beer Week.

I could geek out and tell you what malts Cluley used or when he added the hops to the boil kettle. But, honestly, that stuff bores the hell out of me. Okay, I will tell you that he used five different hops: Amarillo, Centennial, Cascade, Columbus and Chinook. Happy now?

Seattle Beer Collective (l-r: Nat Pellman, Ian Roberts, Matt Younts, Mike Baker)

Anyway, it was a great way to spend a Monday morning. I saw what it’s like brewing on a big system, and I even got to dump some ingredients into the brewing kettle. Between steps, we enjoyed drinking and talking beer.

Pike Head Brewer Drew Cluley thinking about beer

Not to get all introspective, but it was a perfect example of what Seattle Beer Week is all about: having a good time celebrating local beer. I have a feeling the Pike Double IPA is going to be damn tasty and I’m glad I was there when it was created.

Seattle Beer Collective adding hops to the boil kettle

Tomorrow is the Washington Cask Beer Fest. It may be the Seattle beer fest that the beer geeks look forward to the most. I like it, but I don’t wet my pants in anticipation like some. One thing I have done is make myself a cheat sheet to guide my drinking:

Must Try:
Any Herbert’s I don’t get to at Brouwer’s tonight
Big Time Double Decade (this is the WABL beer)

Might Try But Will Probably Suck Horribly:
Diamond Knot Apple Cinnamon ESB
Mac & Jack’s Yerba Maté IPA

Mildly Curious But Won’t Cry If I Don’t Try:
Ram Biere De Marz
Harmon One Hop Wonder
Port Townsend Grey Sky Winter Rye
Laughing Dog Alpha Dog

Sessionable Sobriety Savers:
Big Al Local Hero #2 Frauenbier’s Special Bitter
Hale’s Dry Hopped Pale Ale
Ice Harbor Irish Red

Safe Bets:
Anacortes IPA
Boundary Bay IPA
Pike IPA

(photo by Jay Brooks)

I’m out of my element pairing beer and food. Sure, I’ve made half-assed attempts–like the time I asked a bartender friend at Brouwer’s which dipping sauce would pair with Russian River Damnation (a move that earned me Beer Douche of the Week honors). Sure, I’ve read Garrett Oliver’s The Brewmaster’s Table, but honestly, I can’t say I’ve ever had a religious experience when I tasted a certain beer with a certain food. But, yesterday I had a beer and cheese together that helped me understand why people rave about this whole pairing thing.

The beer I had was Lousberg, a Belgian golden ale brewed by De Proef Brewery in Lochristi, Belgium. Lousberg is the brainchild of De Proef Brewmaster Dirk Naudts and his friend Alexander Claeys of the Het Hinkelspel Cheese Cooperative in Gent, Belgium. According to Alan Shapiro of SBS Imports, the two wanted to create a beer that’s a hybrid of the Westmalle Tripel, Duvel and Delirium Tremens. The goal was to craft a beer that complements Het Hinkelspel’s cheeses. Both the beer and the cheeses are making their U.S. debut this month.

Last night, Director of Specialty Cheese Kim Iannotti from Peterson Cheese brought the Het Hinkelspel cheeses Pas de Rouge and Pas de Bleu to Über Tavern to pair with the beer. The Rouge is a washed rind cow’s milk cheese with a soft, creamy texture. The red bacteria that works its way through the rind creates a pretty stinky cheese. I think I overheard someone say something about a German girl’s underpants—although my girlfriend knows that of course I would never make a remark so offensive to both women and Germans.

The Bleu, also a cow’s milk cheese, has the trademark marbled look from the pencillium roqueforti mold that’s added to it. The texture of the blue cheese is much harder than the Rouge and it has a very sharp flavor. The two cheeses are very different and I enjoyed both, but the Pas de Bleu was the one that complemented the Lousberg the best.

I tried the beer with each of the cheeses. To my unsophisticated taste buds, both seemed to go well with the beer. Iannotti suggested that I try to have the beer and cheese in my mouth at the same time. When I did that with the Pas de Bleu, I was pretty blown away. The flavors of the two worked together to create something even better than each element by itself. For the first time, I felt like I really “got” a pairing–maybe not on an intellectual level, but on the level of “holy shit, this tastes amazing!” When I tried the same thing with the Pas de Rouge, the effect wasn’t nearly the same.

If you’re interested in trying Lousberg or the Het Hinkelspel cheeses, Whole Foods stores in Washington and Oregon are the only places that have them right now. 750 ml bottles of Lousberg are currently available for only $8.99 and both Pas de Bleu and Pas de Rouge are $21.99/lb. The beer by itself is worth your time, but I really recommend trying it with the Pas de Bleu. If saying that means I’m becoming a member of the doucheoisie, so be it.

My procrastination knows no bounds. I spent part of a day in Tacoma in early February and am just now writing about it. Despite the short-term memory loss caused by all the drinking since then, I do remember making two Tacoma beer stops.

The first stop was Harmon Brewing and it was alright–a standard brewpub with the usual food (burgers, fish & chips, hummus plate) and a full lineup of beers. Porters are their specialty. They had a regular porter, a vanilla porter and a double porter, all of which were good. Their IPA, which I’d liked in the past, tasted much different from how I remembered. It had a weird, floral thing going on.

Beer destination number two was The Red Hot. Owner Chris Miller (that’s him manning the bar in the photo) keeps things simple–beer, hot dogs and pinball. His garage punk roots (he used to sing in the Mexican Blackbirds) and Tacoma pride are evident in the memorabilia on the bar’s walls. It’s a small place, borderline dive bar-ish (I mean that in a good way) and has what a lot of beer bars lack: an atmosphere that makes you want to settle in and spend a few hours. The tap list on this day was solidly West Coast and included Port Townsend Hop Diggidy, Stone IPA, Hale’s Kolsch, Boundary Bay Amber and Sierra Nevada Bigfoot. They also had Rainier (Vitamin R is always on tap here) and a bottle list that included Pliny the Elder, one of the Chimays and a few from New Belgium and Deschutes.

Hot dog-wise, The Red Hot caters to vegetarians, with a couple veggie selections (I recommend the Nisqually Not Brat), but the Gauntlet is the main attraction. Ten carnivorous selections make up the Gauntlet and people who eat all ten get their name on a plaque on the wall and a significant price cut on the cost of what they ate.

Miller told me that 90 people have tried to run the Gauntlet and only seven have succeeded, one of which was a woman. A few people have had to go outside and purge mid-Gauntlet. After witnessing some of the attempts, Miller is working on a waiver for challengers to sign exempting The Red Hot from liability for the dangerously high blood pressure that may result from massive sodium intake.

I say the Gauntlet would be the perfect challenge for the Man v. Food guy. I’m sure Tacoma has a few other worthy eating spots they could use on the show. I know I’ll be back to drink more beer at the Red Hot and visit other Tacoma beer spots like the Parkway Tavern and the Swiss.

Whatever I’m doing to try and get this blog going again isn’t working. I haven’t written a word since I left DC for Philly. Been back in Seattle for 4 days and still nothing. The way I work is that if I don’t write daily, the slacking begins and I start digging a deep hole. The only way out is to force myself to sit down and write every day. Whenever I get home, I need to crack open a beer and spew out thoughts. So that’s what I’ll do…starting now.

Drinking a Great Divide Old Ruffian. I’m not a big barleywine guy, but I’m judging one of the early rounds at Brouwer’s Hard Liver Barleywine Festival on Saturday and I feel the need to prepare. This will be the first time I’ve judged at an event like this and, yeah, I’m a little nervous. I know how a barleywine’s supposed to taste, the difference between the English and American versions of the style, what aging can do to the flavors, etc. I haven’t taken the BJCP exam, but I’m sure I’ll do fine. Still…I’m nervous.

About the beer I’m drinking: Old Ruffian falls squarely on the American side of the barleywine fence. There’s malt there…it’s not completely lacking in sweetness (a review of this I just read mentioned creme brulee…which puts the needle on my doucheometer in the red), but Old Ruffian is about hops and, to a lesser degree, alcohol. I have a taste for the sharp, dry and bitter…so it’s much more up my alley than barleywines that come at you from the malt bomb end of the spectrum. I’ll be trying one of those tomorrow night. And yes, I will be writing about Philly eventually. For now, I’ll leave you with this thought: It was fucking great.

(photo by Kristina Hunken)

One more day till I head to Philly Beer Week. Here’s a quick update on some places I’ve been to in and near DC over the last few days:

Dogfish Head Alehouse, Falls Church – This brewpub is in a strip mall parking lot in suburban VA and the atmosphere is more like a Chili’s/TGI Friday’s than a neighborhood bar. The only reason to go is the chance to try DFH beers that you can’t find elsewhere. There were two on tap I’ve never had. The Shelter Pale Ale was a decent pale ale that I had no problem putting down. The Alehouse 75 was more interesting, a blend of the 60 and 90 Minute IPAs. I like the crisp hoppiness of the 60 but find the 90 a little too sweet, so this was a good compromise between the two.

Marvin – Named after Marvin Gaye and owned by the guys from Thievery Corporation, Marvin balances Belgian beer and food (mussels and frites) with Southern comfort food (shrimp and grits, fried chicken and collard greens). Everything we ate was tasty as hell. The beer was okay, all Belgians and American Belgian-style beers with a handful on tap: Affligem (what I had), Corsendonk, DeKoninck and the usual suspects Stella and Hoegaarden. There’s also a decent bottle list. While this isn’t really a beer destination, it is a place where you can get an excellent meal and a good beer. Just watch out for the annoying hipster customers.

RFD – Along with Paradiso, RFD might be the best place in DC to drink beer on tap. I went at 2 pm on a Monday and the place was absolutely dead, a plus after previous visits during busier times had the feel of a douchebag fratboy sports bar. Again, I was blown away by the East Coast prices (all pints were $6-9 and were served in those crappy shaker pint glasses). I started with the Weyerbacher Hops Infusion, an IPA that had a good hop aroma, but had flavors that were all over the place. Next up was Bell’s Cherry Stout. Wow, this one took me by surprise. The sour cherry taste was really in-your-face and made it unlike any stout I’ve ever had. At first, I didn’t think the tartness of the cherry and roast of the stout went well together, but it won me over in the end…another interesting beer from Bell’s. My last beer at RFD was the New Holland Mad Hatter (in the bottle). It was a solid IPA, with a good balance to it. I need to seek out more from New Holland.

Before I head to Philly in the morning, I have one DC-area beer thing to look forward to—Rustico in Alexandria is having a cask event tonight featuring Bell’s Hopslam, Troeg’s Nugget Nectar, Stone Ruination and two others I can’t remember. Hopslam has been really hyped up and I’m looking forward to trying it.

Before I head to Philly Beer Week on Wednesday, I’m spending four days in DC visiting my sister and 4 month old niece. This time is about family, but I always find a way to sneak in beer stuff. Yesterday, I hit three places:

Chevy Chase Wine & Spirits – As far as I know, this is the only place in DC that lets you buy singles of 12 oz. beers. They have a good selection of American craft beer and imports, but it’s crammed into a tiny area, with wine and booze dominating the shelf space. Not sure if there are any knowledgeable beer guys on the staff. I saw beers that had bottled on dates from over a year ago, so I don’t know how vigilant they are about rotating stock. Overall, though, this is probably the best place to buy beer in DC. I grabbed singles from Bell’s, Weyerbacher, Arcadia, Blue Point, Clay Pipe, Clipper City and Baltimore-Washington Beer Works (beer porn portrait above). When I got back to my sister’s house, I cracked open the Baltimore-Washington beer, a lager called The Raven. The Edgar Allan Poe thing was cool, the beer wasn’t bad. I also had a Smuttynose Robust Porter that was hanging out in my sister’s fridge and it was tasty as hell.

Rustico – Found out about this Alexandria, Virginia restaurant the day before I flew East. They have 30 taps and an extensive bottle list, but they were out of a lot of things on the draft list. I ordered a New Holland The Poet Oatmeal Stout and the server brought me the Peak Organic Nut Brown instead (maybe the New Holland was gone and he decided to substitute). I said screw it and just drank the beer. It was alright, kinda on the watery side like a few other organic beers I’ve had. I also had a Stoudt’s Pilsner, which I’ve had before and is a solid pils. Food (pizza, burgers, etc) was okay, but nothing special. The atmosphere was annoyingly suburban. Even though they have good beer, if I lived in DC I’m not sure how often I’d drink there. Actually, DC fans of Rustico won’t need to go to the Commonwealth for long. The Rustico website says they’re targeting spring for the opening of a new place in DC called Birch and Barley. 50 taps and 500 bottles—should be worth checking out.

Paradiso – After dinner at Rustico, I met some friends who were having pizza here. Located in Georgetown, Paradiso is a crazy place to go on a weekend night. You end up waiting forever to sit down and it’s loud and insanely packed–not exactly a comfortable spot to enjoy a few beers. But they do have good pizza (better than Rustico) and one of the best beer selections in DC. I’d already had several beers earlier in the day, so I stayed with sessionable selections: the Wye Valley Dorothy Goody Winter Tipple (a strongly spiced brown ale on cask) and the Arcadia ESB (a decent and very drinkable mix of malt sweetness and hoppy bitterness). Both were good, but I couldn’t get over the East Coast prices. $7.25 for a pint? Hope those prices don’t make it out West anytime soon.

Three more days to explore DC before I head to Philly. Plenty more beer to be found here. I’m on it…