The Beer Retard

Starved for content, I turn to photos stored on my soul-sucking iPhone. I like how the photo library tells the story of my year. This one is from February’s trip to SF Beer Week, where I spent three full days punishing my liver and kidneys. It was a great time except for the two-day hangover that started when I stopped drinking.

The gentleman in the photo is Ken Pajak, proprietor of Café Amsterdam in Anchorage, Alaska. I first met Ken during 2008′s SF Beer Week, thanks to Chris and Merideth of thebeergeek.com. It may look like he’s practicing to be a server at Oktoberfest, but that pitcher of Anchor Steam was all his. My memory of SF is foggy, but I think he drank out of all three glasses at the same time. Ken’s a good guy who loves to put down some beers and can grow a hell of a mustache. I hope to make it to his place in Alaska one day….

Today I rise from the grave with news of a limited-edition local beer from Schooner Exact Brewing. According to Schooner Exact’s Minister of Propaganda, Marcus Connery, the Union Ale is “a light golden summer ale, brewed with classic Northwest hops, for a fresh, fruity aroma and flavor.” If light golden summer ale and fresh and fruity aren’t enough of a draw, there’s a story behind the beer:

Union Ale was Schooner Exact brewmaster Matt McClung’s first beer. It was made for a friend’s wedding and he’s since made batches for other friends and family who’ve gotten married. I’m tempted to ask McClung if he’s had to brew a Separation Stout (or even worse, an Annulment Ale) for anyone, but that might be in poor taste. Wait a minute, that’s just my style. Anyway, Matt’s niece is getting hitched this weekend and to mark the occasion, he’s brewed Union on a large system for the first time. The entire batch won’t be needed for the wedding, so there will be a few kegs going out to select bars in the area this week. Look for it at:

Beveridge Place Pub

Brouwer’s Café

Naked City Brewing Company

Duck Island Ale House

Pub at Piper’s Creek

Parkway Tavern – Tacoma

My bottleshop job and my own curiosity have me trying lots of beers, but it’s no secret that I’m an IPA guy. The problem is that a lot of my favorites–Firestone Walker Union Jack, Bear Republic Racer 5, Russian River Pliny the Elder and Russian River Blind Pig–are over 6% ABV. As delicious as they may be, you can’t have more than a pint or two without putting a serious dent in your sobriety (Blind Pig being the possible exception at 6%). So I’m always on the lookout for something that I can drink all night and not pay the price later. And luckily, I’ve discovered some sessionable American pale ales that deliver enough hops to satisfy the IPA freak:

Firestone Walker Pale 31 – Firestone took a British-style Pale Ale made with Maris Otter malt and Fuggles hops and put a West Coast spin on it by using late kettle and dry-hopped additions of Cascade, Centennial and Chinook hops. At 4.6%, it’s light and easy-drinking, but the hops are noticeable enough to satisfy.

Elysian Fields Pale Ale – It’s crisp and hoppy and, at 4.8%, is one of the few worthy session beers made here in Seattle. When it’s fresh on tap, I actually prefer it to the Elysian Immortal IPA. Maybe that’s because of the Simcoe hops, which aren’t in the Immortal.

HUB Crosstown Pale Ale – When I spent time in Portland recently, I tried this beer on tap at Hopworks and was blown away by its hoppiness. If I’d tasted it blind, I would’ve thought IPA for sure. It’s now available in bottles (though its not quite as hopped up as the draft version I’d had and it’s not available in Seattle yet). Crosstown is a little higher on the alcohol at 5.3%, but still well below the 6-7% of most IPAs.

To all three of my readers, I apologize for the four weeks between updates. In my defense, I’ve been busy working two jobs while finding time for trivial things like sleeping and eating. But really, that’s no excuse. I’ve got to make time for this because I’m not ready to kill it just yet.

I’ve been working at Bottleworks for five weeks. Despite the challenges of working 50-60 hours a week at two jobs, I’m enjoying Bottleworks and I’ve settled in to the job. I can work the cash register. I know where almost everything in the store is located. I can pour draft without wasting any beer. I feel comfortable, but I realize I still have a hell of a lot to learn. For instance:

Even though I’ve only homebrewed once and have never worked in the industry, I thought I had decent beer knowledge. I’ve been trying beers like a fiend and have been writing about it for a couple years. You’d think that’d put me in a good position to answer questions from customers. Wrong. My knowledge of American craft beer and Belgians is okay, but I have serious blind spots. The most obvious one is Germany. We have two columns of a cooler dedicated to German beer and I don’t know a goddamn thing about any of it (except the Aecht Schlenkerla Helles Lager and rauchbiers). To remedy this, I’m taking home weissbiers and dunkels and bocks. When I’m through with those, there’s plenty more to try.

Also, I’ve realized that I need to revisit beers I haven’t had in awhile. When a customer comes in and asks me to recommend a good IPA, I have no problem. I can easily reel off four or five options that I know they’ll enjoy. If they ask about ambers or porters or other styles, I can only name one or two, and even then I can’t really describe what they’re like since I haven’t had them in a long time. So once a week I’m taking home a mixed sixpack of beers I haven’t had recently.

Overall, I’d say my time at Bottleworks has been great, but it’s also been humbling. I realize how little I know and how much I have to drink before I’m able to discuss beer with authority. But how cool is it to have a job where you’re forced to drink more beer?

Contrary to what you might’ve heard…I’m not dead. Seattle Beer Week has my liver crying for mercy, but I’m still breathing. Eventually, I’ll take my memories of the great times I’ve had and put words to them. For now, here are some crappy photos I took with my phone:

The dapper Seattle Beer Collective gives a thumbs-up on Opening Night just before the tapping of the Inaugural SBW beer at the Pike.

Our table of tasters at the Great Elysian Beer Fest. The Pandemonium sour was a highlight. There was also a Belgian stout called The Horror which was sometimes misheard by bartenders as “The Whore.”

2003-2008 Old Sol vertical tasting at the Big Time. The ’06 and ’08 were my favorites. This started at 4 pm. Sobriety was a distant memory by 5:30.

Hard to believe Seattle Beer Week is only seven days away. There’s a definite excitement building in the Seattle beer community, from beer drinkers to brewers. I’m still in awe of how many events the Seattle Beer Collective has scheduled in just four months. These guys must be exhausted. At 5 pm next Thursday, all the hard work pays off when Pike’s Double IPA is tapped and 11 days of celebration begin.

If you can’t wait a week to try it, the Double IPA is already available in 22-ounce bombers at the Pike Pub and Bottleworks. I had a bomber last weekend and the beer tastes great. It’s hoppy as hell but not harshly bitter and drinks much more easily than you’d expect from such a big beer. According to Pike Head Brewer Drew Cluley and Assistant Head Brewer Dean Mochizuki, the second run of bottles tastes even better. It’s gone through another round of dry hopping, which has given the beer a more aromatic hop character. Also, the alcohol level has come down a bit, which means it’s probably even more drinkable. The draft version at the Opening Night Party at Pike on May 7th will be this newer batch.

Once festivities begin, I plan on documenting all the decadence and debauchery. I’d originally thought that only lack of sleep and/or liver damage would limit my attack, but now I have something else that could get in the way–I’ll be working at Bottleworks. It’s only part time, but I’m excited. I’ve been working on the Bottleworks blog and now I get to play a more active role. Should be a great experience.

Cavy addressing the adoring masses

By all accounts, Sunday’s Kegs for Cavy fundraiser at Brouwer’s was a resounding success and one hell of a party. Over $13,000 was raised through beer sales, silent auction items, donations and shaved heads. Yes, shaved heads. Skagit River Brewing’s Mike Armstrong brought the clippers and Brouwer’s Operations Manager Matt Bonney kicked in $20 for anyone who got their locks chopped off.

I was only there until around 10:30 (my lady overindulged for Cavy, tried to re-enact the puking scene from Team America and had to be shepherded home), so while I drank plenty, I missed out on Chris’s speech and his shearing. Luckily, photographic evidence was easy to find.

Cavy freshly shaved and getting love from the ladies

Cavy was blown away by the party and wanted to “extend my endless love and gratitude to everyone involved in any way, especially those in the beer community who donated kegs and time and made it happen. And an extra special thanks to my family at Brouwer’s, the most incredible bar in the world.”

If you didn’t make it out on Sunday, it’s not too late to contribute to Cavy’s recovery. Some of the kegs from Sunday are still pouring at Brouwer’s and there’s still a savings account in Cavy’s name at Frontier Bank. Just tell them you have a donation for Chris Cavanaugh and they’ll make sure the money gets to Cavy.