Seattle Beer Week Is Upon Us

With only a few days until the start of Seattle Beer Week, it’s time for me to come out of blogging hibernation. Last year, the Seattle Beer Collective put together a pretty impressive inaugural SBW with only a few months of lead time. This year, they’ve gone balls-out to orchestrate a ridiculous 10 days of local beer celebration. To honor their work, I’ve decided to tackle this year’s SBW Gonzo-style.

While I don’t have it in me to channel Hunter S. Thompson by taking tons of drugs and reporting via stream-of-consciousness, I am pledging to attack the festival, attending as many events as possible (hopefully more than anyone, besides the four organizers) and documenting my experiences with no punches pulled. If I drink a lousy beer, want to punch an annoying beer douche or engage in dangerous acts of public urination, you’ll read about it in my daily reports.

For the next three days, I’ll be lying low–getting eight hours of sleep, eating well and taking my vitamins. I’ll also make sure to have two or three beers a day to keep my tolerance up. Some say that I should forego beer until the festivities begin on Thursday, but I strongly disagree. Abstinence before a period of bingeing is a fool’s errand.

See everyone at Hale’s on Thursday….

6 Responses to “Seattle Beer Week Is Upon Us”

  1. Huzzah! What the’s over/under on number of days into the festival that you get your first ride in a police car?

  2. slipkid Says:

    laying low sounds good but wouldn’t it be better not to have any beer at all from today until thursday? then your palate will be fresher and more wanting. i don’t know, maybe that’s just me, but after a few days off my tongue is just jonesing for a beer and can really tell a Miller High Life from an Oly.

    • thebeerretard Says:

      Funny. If I cared about how fresh my palate was, I’d be guilty of the sort of douchery that I’m always calling people out for. Plus, if I’m gonna follow through with my plan, keeping a good base going is the way to go.

      Tell you what…I’ll make sure to eat crackers or bread and drink water after an Ave Rat malt liquor binge on Friday to make sure my palate is dewy fresh for the 10% stouts that I’ll follow up with at Back in Black.

  3. Dean Ruffner Says:

    “I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me” – H.S.T

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